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Mental Poise; What Does Your Facial Expression Say About You?

Posted by on February 6, 2016

Hello friends,

I MUST start this post by apologising profusely for being away for so long. A lot has been happening with me. I’ve been in geographical transition and that took way more time, attention and energy than I ever thought it would. Thank God most of it is over now. I’m doing well. (You’re so kind, thanks for asking. *Smiles*) I also took some time out to give full attention to this  before writing my own posts. I should have done even better hubby, forgive me. Please check it out, you’ll be thoroughly blessed.

I do hope you have all been off to a great start this year; committing to God,  planning, achieving and enjoying life. I sure have, in spite of an already busy year.


Alright, to the business of the day. Mental Poise. This topic has been on my mind for a couple of months now. It could be because it is something I’m still getting a hang of or just because it is something we could all fall prey to and need to master. We’ve discussed on this blog a number of things that make you an elegant lady; how you sit, walk, talk, poise, social conduct, etc. However, in addition to all of these, a very important element in being an elegant lady or coming across as one, is your EXPRESSION.

What kind of face do you wear? What kind of face do you deserve? What do your facial expressions say about you without your consent? Do your thoughts, your mood and feelings show up on your face? What is your facial expression like when you are in limbo (waiting for a bus, waiting for a friend at a party, waiting on a queue to pay for your groceries, casually walking into a mall or office where you believe nobody knows you)? Have you pictured yourself in your head or remembered what someone has told you in the past (or recently) about your expressions?

When I’m upset, I tend to block everything out and just do what I necessarily need to do. I’m not rude, but I’m not very friendly and I’m almost certain I don’t look approachable at times like that. I may feel it is within my right to keep to myself or pull a face when I’m legitimately upset. I may feel people need to understand and empathise with me. They should respect my space. Alas, the life of a poised elegant lady doesn’t always permit this.


To learn to be graceful, we must first study expression. Expression is the result of your thoughts materializing on your face. It is a form of action and communication.

To ensure that we only give beautiful expressions, we have to control how we think, and control the impressions we make in our head. That means to obtain beautiful and elegant expressions, we have to obtain mental poise.

We also need the power of analysis and self-correction. Mastering this will give you command of yourself and an appearance of ease (Culled from The Elegant Woman).


Next week, I’ll share a few things I have learned and know about controlling expressions. We’ll talk about influencing our countenance, how to communicate more pleasant messages with our expressions


3 Responses to Mental Poise; What Does Your Facial Expression Say About You?

  1. oluwakemi

    Toju! So nice to be reading a post from you..and happy new year!

    Hmm mental poise..that’s a tricky one. Sometimes I am upset and I think my face is proper and plain..alas i am shooting bullets with my eyes. I really will like to learn to control my expressions..self control, self-mastery, ruling my spirit. Looking forward to next week.

    P.S: I have missed you!

  2. Karen Ubani

    I totally agree. Thoughts are so powerful, and do reflect on our expressions

  3. Adeoye

    Mental poise huh! It’s easier to control the tongue, sometimes it’s the face that needs deliverance.

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