I got quite a number of thankful and good comments, as well as a lot of laughter from my last post. Thank you all very much. I know the throne issue is something we can all relate with; either as perpetrators or victims. Here’s the concluding part. I’ll just go straight to it.
a) The people who insist on incubating the germs in the toilet area by forcing conversation across or over cubicles. We’re in the toilet for ‘business,’ to relieve ourselves privately and quietly or escape something (like sleeping off at our desks), so no, now is not the time to tell us about that shoe deal
b)The people who have loud conversations on their mobile phones while doing their business. This is just all shades of wrong. I know that technology has come a mighty long way, in that you can now speak to people on the go, nevertheless, you should not subject them to toilet sounds. The ‘plunk’ of the big job, the draining sound of a ‘pee,’ the flushing of the toilet or whatsoever! Geesh!
c)Closely related to the people above are the people who sneak into the toilet to tell…well, a a story that is not quite true. I remembered these people when my cousin updated this on her BBM a couple of days ago- ‘Dear lady in the next toilet cubicle, sorry but I can’t wait for you to finish lying over the phone about where you are, I need to flush.’ I laughed ssoo hard. Some people are not as nice as my cousin, after all, the toilet is for toilet activities, not ‘coloured stories’
2. LOL! Please don’t ask me about this product, I know nothing about it. It was just the only picture that struck me and passed my message. Have you ever been in the toilet area, in a quiet environment, and then someone walks into a cubicle…and the next thing you hear is a pressure draining gush!!! Someone peeing so loud and right into the center of the water. Please pee as quietly as possibly and cover every big business rude sound with an ‘ahem.’ Basically, keep splashes and grunts at a reasonable volume. (This way, you can walk out of the cubicle with your head held high instead of having people stare at you once you come out of the cubicle)
3. Dear men, when using urinals, please use the one farthest from whoever is already there (at least one urinal away if that’s the only space available). You don’t need to be arranged in order. It follows that when you have positioned yourself as far enough as possible, you look straight, not sideways. There might be no cubicles, but it’s still a private room and you shouldn’t be sizing anybody up there by looking sideways…or downwards…yes, even if you’re both men
4. Talk about mockery. I had touched on this in my last post, but it is worthy of repetition. It is wickedness to leave the toilet without alerting the necessary quarters, especially when it was YOU finished the toilet roll. Unfortunately, the next person sprints to the toilet, relieves his or herself with much gladness…and the BAM! a moment of silence for the part of their dignity that dies because they have to walk out like that to look for help (or not) or wait for the next person to come into the bathroom and have an uncomfortable conversation
5. In this season, this has to be my worst ‘toilet pet peeve.’ I’m not even going to put up a picture for reference. Toilet Selfies. I don’t understand any aspect of it; taking photos that reflect toilet stalls and people washing hands, striking poses in a toilet area as if it were Madame Tussauds, pouting at your refelction, taking group selfies…in the bathroom? Since when the bathroom become a recreational center? Please. I beg. #Enoughsaid
6. Paper, chewing gum, nylon, non-flushable wipes, cigarette sticks (oh yes, I’ve seen those in toilet bowls), sanitary towels, are examples of materials that will NOT quite go down the drain. It’s supposedly apparent, but apparently not. Please use the bin or special disposables provided
I’ll leave you with these general toilet rules I read somewhere, for before, during and after.
#1. Secret: never talk about what you’re going to do. Don’t say ‘I’m off to recycle this lovely meal,’ or ‘I need to offload’ (The Mr.Phelps rule)
#2.Intimacy: always go alone. Don’t ask people to follow you to the bathroom (The Loner rule)
#3.Invisibility: don’t make a grand entry or exit (The Pink Panther rule)
#4.Silence: what happened in the bathroom should stay there. Give no clues. Don’t say ‘I feel way lighter’ or ‘It’s such a sweet relief when…’ (The Quiet Man…or Woman rule)
#5.Identity: come back the exact way you left; shirt intact, hair intact, dry hands, non-sweaty face, etc (The wonder Woman…or Man rule)
#6.Security: do not leave any clues as to the purpose of your mission. For example, do not hold rolls of tissue or a newspaper in your hand and walk obviously to the bathroom (The Columbo rule)
#7.Speed: do not be absent for more than a few moments, no matter how much you’re enjoying yourself in there (The Flash rule)
#8.Composed: no need to reveal how you really feel. Don’t dance around, cross your legs or hold on to the middle of your clothes (front or back), to indicate how much you need the bathroom (The Hulk rule)
#9.Modesty: never ‘boast’ about your ‘performance.’ We don’t need to know how you drew a circle as you ‘peed’ (men) or how you decorated the toilet bowl to your satisfaction. Yuck! (The Ben Johnson rule)