My name is Toju.
It’s nice to finally be here. I say ‘finally’ because I have started this blog several times over the last two years; in my head, on a sheet of paper, in an extremely large notepad I got for the specific purpose, on my phone…you name it. Alas, it is true that if your great ideas are going to get any recognition, they can’t just be written down, they must be put on display for people to see, interact with and hopefully obsessively engage in. So…here’s my great idea. Well, I believe it is.
Growing up, my mother always taught me how to sit like a lady, pronounce words correctly, speak audibly and how to behave in public (especially in people’s homes). For her, she was just giving me the basic home training and she did a mighty good job. Thanks Mama!
But then, when she believed her best was done, I was just getting started.
Over the years, I discovered that I had a knack for organisation, decorum, orderliness and togetherness. ‘Why oh why would anybody throw anything out of a moving car or on the street as they walked?’ ‘Why can I hear the clanking of your teaspoon on your teacup when you stir your tea?’ (For Nigerians, the clanking of your dinner spoon on your mug when stirring your ‘tea’- never mind that it is actually Milo. That’s another conversation…which we’ll certainly have on this blog.)
‘Why you suddenly poke your fork into my meal because it looks good and you want a taste?’ ‘Why would you assume I would shake the hand you coughed into ten minutes ago…in my presence? Did you genuinely forget or am I supposed to believe the bacteria would have died?’ (Oh yes, I thought this way and carried sanitizers with me long before Ebola.) If I listened to a speech, I more often than not had my ‘two cents’ to contribute which in my opinion would have made the speech better. I easily noticed and could not fathom why people wrote without punctuation marks or the wrong punctuation. A sentence has a totally different meaning without punctuation marks or with the wrong punctuation.
These are just a few of the issues I grappled with every time I looked around me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect or infallible. I’m still learning. I am just saying that I have identified areas in day-to-day life I feel I can contribute positively toward. I am saying that I desire to share what I know so you can be better at work, in your relationship, with your friends, in the public space of your society and ultimately to yourself.
This is the reality of life- No matter how much money you have, how popular you are, how good looking you are or how talented you are, if you are not refined, people will have second thoughts about you. If you do not have at least basic Etiquette and Social Intelligence skills, you will be limited in your areas of participation or influence…even if you have a Harvard degree.
I am going to be sharing A LOT about how being POISED, having GOOD MANNERS and ETIQUETTE SKILLS will make you stand out, promote you in life and make you a more desirable person. Trust me, you want to know this.
This is the sole reason I have started this Etiquette blog. We will discuss different issues ranging from how to behave (eat, meet and greet) at social gatherings, Formal Dining Etiquette, How To Be A Lady, Public Space Etiquette, Manners, Poise, Communication, Toxic Traits, Deportment, Charisma and Presence, Personal grooming and lots more.
So who exactly is this blog for? If you want to:
1.Move up professionally
2.Fit into a variety of social situations
3.Boost your Confidence/Self Esteem
4.Exude Grace, Elegance and Finesse
5.Learn good and appropriate Manners
6.Enhance your Appearance and personal Grooming
7.Improve your verbal and non-verbal Communication Skills
Centuries ago, these things were taught to young girls and boys, but somehow, we lost them along the way. This blog will help you find these values again and let you know why they are so important.
Whilst I am happy to teach, converse with and answer questions from males, the main target audience of this blog is females.
Once again, I am glad to be here and I look forward to a thrilling time of new discoveries.