Hello Etiquette Lovers,
Is it just me or have you also noticed the trend of people getting upset when they get turned back at/from an event they were actually not invited to? Or getting upset because they didn’t get an invite for that wedding, bridal shower, birthday, etc. I mean really ‘vexing for’ (getting mad at) the host/celebrant, even to the extent of posting nasty things on social media or holding a grudge. When I say event, I’m not talking about events open to the general public. I mean events such as the ones mentioned above that have a personal touch.
In my thinking and as far as Etiquette is concerned, when people host events, they are planned for people close to them. They want to share their moment with people they love, people who have influenced them in one way or the other, people who have contributed to the progress of their lives in various ways, people who they have grown up with or share memories with…people they actually know.
When events are planned, they are planned with an estimated number of guests in mind. This means that the food, drinks, seats/hall capacity, sitting arrangement, vendors, party favours,…everything, have been planned accordingly.
With these in mind, it is actually very inconsiderate, insensitive and rude to show up at such ceremonies just because your heard about them or your sister’s boyfriend’s friend said you could hitch a ride with him/her. You should not, because you are bored on a Saturday afternoon, turn up at an occasion you were not invited to.
It is solely the host’s prerogative to invite whoever he/she wishes to invite. No, he/she is not necessarily being proud. No, he/she doesn’t have anything against you. With the few exceptions of hosts muddling things up in the heat of planning, event planners making mistakes or courier drivers making wrong, delayed or no deliveries, whoever gets invited is usually who the host wants to invite.
It is not in your place to get upset. You should not hold a grudge. Don’t make small talk about it with raised brows the next time you see the host. If you can not congratulate him/her, just don’t talk about it at all when you see. If you are that interested in the happenings of the occasion, social media sites are usually flooded with pictures, videos and comments that make you feel as if you were there. Just watch those spaces. Remember, when you host your own event too, your guest list is your prerogative.
To the people who receive the invite for the occasion, please do not ask people to tag along with you except it is an open event or you have confirmed with the host that it is okay to so. It’s funny how it’s people who come uninvited that may also complain about the food running out or the party being rowdy. Really?
Let me know what you think. Have a great week!